As a child, I was always an athlete. I played any and every sport I could since kindergarten. As I grew, I would cut a sport here or there and by the time I reached high school, I only played volleyball. I was always good at sports, though never the best on the team, I was also never the worst. Many people referred to me as "consistent." I didn't stand out to spectators or people on the other teams. No one knew my name, but my team always knew they could depend on me, not matter what. After high school, my focus turned away from sports. I knew I wasn't good enough to play on a college team, at least not a large university, and I didn't want the stress that went along with being a college athlete. My focus turned completely to my studies, my job, and my social life. I stopped exercising regularly and started eating meat after being a vegetarian for 7+ years. I gained weight. After a year or two, I started eating a bit better and exercising more regularly and took off most of the weight I had put on, but another life change into the world of student teaching, put me into a spiral and I lost my exercise routine again.
My adult life seems to have had consistent patterns for the last 10 years. I go through spurts of eating well and exercising regularly, but then something changes or I get bored and I lose track of my routine. Once I'm out of my routine, I find it difficult to get back into a rhythm. I am no longer considered an athlete, by any means, and consider myself to only be an occasional exerciser. I seem to exercise when I feel great or it is convenient, but I don't push myself enough to establish a routine. I am 5 feet 5 inches tall and approximately 10 pounds overweight, according to the Body Mass Index. I recently tried Weight Watchers, with some success, but have always hated dieting and scales. I am the kind of person who always weighs more than people think I do because I put on muscle quickly when I exercise. The numbers on a scale are misleading and don't indicate a level of fitness or health. So, I quit the dieting because I decided the number wasn't important. The most important things are how healthy I feel and how I feel about my body.
About three weeks ago, I was in the Mega REI in Seattle when I stumbled upon a book called Fit By Nature by John Colver. I was intrigued because it was a 12-week program focusing on outdoor workouts (of any kind) and it emphasized only doing what your body felt like it could do. If you need to walk or take a break, that is ok. It also included strength training in the form of cross-training workouts, which I liked very much. I know that strength training is important for building and toning muscles, but there are so many exercises out there that I didn't know which ones were the best to incorporate for quick workouts. This books has helped with that tremendously.
On April 14th, after completing two full weeks of Fit by Nature, I started to think about my goals. I have always thought it would be cool to run a marathon. Not many people can say they've run 26.2 miles and a small part of me wanted to be able to say I've done that. I started looking into fun races after the Color Me Rad run happened in Eugene. I thought having some fun events might keep me motivated and prevent me from giving up. A few years ago, a friend and I were training for a half-marathon, but after coming down with a cough and taking two weeks off, I was frustrated that after being able to run 10 miles, I was then struggling to do 3, so I gave up. I don't want to keep repeating that cycle. I've always wanted to be a runner, but I've never thought of myself that way. On April 14th, while reflecting on my goals, I signed up for a 5K Color Me Rad run in Portland and started thinking more seriously about running a marathon. The next day, bombs went off at the finish line of the Boston Marathon. That pretty much did it for me. I want to run a marathon. I want to run it for the people who can't. I am young and I can be strong again if I work hard for it and I can run a marathon.
I have always felt that I can do whatever I put my mind to, however, I don't put that into practice very often. At least, I always felt that way in terms of studying and career opportunities. I guess, as an adult, I didn't really think that was the case for exercise. I've considered running marathons before, but it was always short-lived, as I would then tell myself that it was crazy and I'm not a runner and I would only fail. For me, failure is the worst possible outcome and I feel that my fear of it has prevented me from doing a lot of things. I was raised to believe that hardwork prevents failure and leads to success, but I don't believe that is always the case. Even now, as I've been seriously contemplating running a marathon for a week, I haven't voiced the idea because if I fail, people are going to know that I failed. But maybe that is the reason I've always failed in the past. Maybe voicing it to many people is a way to keep me motivated, knowing that people are watching me in anticipation. And what if I do fail? Then I do and I keep going. I was thinking about all of the excuses I've come up with as an adult and how they were non-existent when I was a kid. When I was on sports teams, if my throat hurt, I practiced anyway. If I rolled my ankle, I tapped it up and kept going. If my muscles hurt, I pushed through and iced when I got home. Now, I feel like the littlest things will keep me home on the couch and I make excuses for everything. I'm tired of it! I'm tired of feeling heavy and sluggish. I'm tired of envying athletes. I'm tired of feeling lazy. And most of all: I'M TIRED OF EXCUSES!
Consider this my official announcement that I will be running in the Eugene Marathon in 2014! Even now, I am questioning whether or not I can actually accomplish this massive goal. I am deeply afraid of failing and of everyone thinking of me as a failure. But the only way I can conquer this fear is to face it head on and to try my best. If something happens and I don't make it, then I will tape up my injured soul and try again. I've always wanted to be a runner and the time has come for me to do it. No more excuses! I am reading books about vegan super-athletes and how they perform better on a vegan diet and I am heading back in that direction too. I plan to use this blog to document my journey from the occasional runner to a marathon runner. I hope that it will keep me motivated, while motivating others to be more active as well. Stay tuned to learn about the ups and downs that I will inevitably face over this next year's worth of training. I am relying on your support to help get me through this.
Cheers!
Ashley
